What does “rocking the apple cart” mean to you? A woman recently told me she did not share her frustrations because it might “rock the apple cart.”
She proudly stated that she did not express her own frustrations after her daughter expressed frustration to her. To her it was not acceptable to express any negative emotion. Yet, her body language and tone of voice indicated that she experienced some strong emotions.
None of this is good or bad or right or wrong. In fact, past labeling as such, or shaming and blaming often create this urge to not speak the truth. When folks do not feel safe to share, they tend to react defensively, or shut down and withdraw.
She also did not acknowledge her family members’ feelings. Based upon the rest of her story, it sounded like the apple cart may already have started tipping over. I understand her desire to cling to the apples remaining in the cart.
Yet, doing so, caused a great deal of inner turmoil. Doing things the way they had always been done continued. Her needs, and personal peace, went unmentioned and unmet. It sounded like other family members felt the same way about their needs.
There may sometimes be a price to speaking our truth simply because we cannot control how people receive what we say. However, we can choose our words, body language, and tone of voice, and listen with love to understand.
It takes a bit of courage to share openly and honestly. You increase your confidence, clarity, and compassion by learning proven, effective tools in the Connective Communication classes. If you prefer to work 1:1, you may choose from conflict coaching or transformational coaching.
What if “rocking the apple cart” is okay? It may feel a little uncomfortable at first. Eventually, it may be a way of steering the cart in a direction that feels better for everyone involved.
