Tired from saying “yes?” Not sure why you do?
Helping someone on an office project, friend gathering, or another volunteer opportunity may initially sound fulfilling. You may enjoy the sense of helpfulness, connection and belonging that comes from saying “yes.” Yet too many filled spaces on the calendar may also create overwhelm. This overwhelm and busyness may prevent you from really enjoying the moment.
There was a time in my life that I did not put laundry, meal prep, rest, etc. on my calendar. I said “yes” to most anything occurring during an “open time” on my calendar. I often felt like I was running empty because I did not have “open time” to meet my own needs. Whether or not you put them on your calendar, it is important to remember to set aside time.
Even though all those opportunities may sound inviting, remember you may always pause before committing. If you wish to check your calendar, ask the RSVP deadline, say when you will respond, and then do so.
If you know that you want to spend time, you may simply offer, “I really would like to connect. Would it be possible for the two of us to meet sometime in January or …. for coffee, lunch, or a walk?”
If it is not something you wish to do, you may say, “Thank you so much for inviting me” or “Although I really appreciate the invitation. I will pass.” Of course, you may decide to add, “I have another commitment.”
Remember commitments to yourself are commitments. Keeping commitments to you shows you value you, and allows you to be more present for others.
Are you behaving as a human “being” or acting like a human “doing?” This “doing” may cost you rest, peace of mind and real connection.
You control your calendar. Saying “yes” and saying “no” both meet needs. If you could use some support in this area, consider transformational coaching.
Does your calendar allow you to be who you wish to be?