The Fine Lie

How often do you respond with “I’m fine” or “good” while your mind and body says otherwise? Even when bodies and minds feel depleted, humans tend to offer the fine lie as naturally as blinking. Does this separate or connect us to other people? What about our connection to ourselves?

In these seemingly brief encounters, the need for ease overcomes the need for honesty. Does that mean that we must share the full story behind our thoughts and feelings with everyone who asks, “how are you?” No, it does not. It also does not mean you have to hide your truth.

The honesty works both ways as folks may avoid sharing positive or negative feelings and opt for “fine.” Maybe you can honestly say:

“I’m struggling a bit. Thank you for asking.”

“I am excited about this weekend. Thank you for asking.”

“I am tired. Thanks.”

“I am feeling really grateful today. Thanks.”

“Actually, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed today.”

“I’m really content where life is now, and just embracing the moment. Thank you for asking.”

After speaking your truth, you may choose to inquire about the other person. The other person may or may not choose to inquire further about you and your response. Whether or not the conversation continues, you spoke your truth. You just opened the door for more authentic communication.

At Healing Truth, you will find support to speak your truth, consider needs, and create ideas for resolution. Truth does more than set you free. Truth heals.

A civil and family mediator, peace builder, and educator, Sherry Ann Bruckner lives in Alexandria, Minnesota. Visit brucknermediation.com/services to learn more or call Sherry at (320) 808-3212 for help to transform conflict and create peace.

As always, be gentle with you. Be gentle with all. Be the peace.