Have you ever said “yes” to something and regretted it five minutes, five days, or even five years later? Perhaps, you have also witnessed a family member or friend attend an event or volunteer for an activity and felt the uncomfortableness because everyone knew the person really did not want to participate. The desire to please may lead to both internal and external conflict. An effort to “keep the peace” actually disrupts the peace when feelings and needs remain unspoken.
To meet your own needs, it is important to take the time to identify them. Do you need self-care, appreciation, understanding, clarity, order, rest, or fun? If these needs are met, you may feel calm, content, motivated, openhearted, or invigorated. When the needs linger unmet, it may lead to feelings of burnout, detachment, insecurity, frustration, or resentment.
What does meeting needs look like for you? The ways we choose to meet specific needs may change from time to time. While one day you may find fun in hiking or biking, another day you may feel more joy in watching the birds or playing a game. Self-care may be a nap, pedicure, meditation, reading, painting, or something entirely unique to you depending on the day. What does a sense of order look like to you? Is it a sparkling kitchen counter or all bills paid, both, or something else?
At the root of conflict lies a feeling of unmet needs. Being clear about your needs and the way you wish to meet them may increase your inner sense of peace. When you have an inner sense of peace, you will often exude a greater sense of outer peace.
Are you willing to speak your truth?
Conflict coaching offers clarity and creates confidence in communicating needs.