Do you ever say “yes” to something and regret it five minutes, five days, or even five years later? Perhaps, you witness a family member or friend attend an event or volunteer for an activity. You feel the uncomfortableness because everyone knows the person really does not want to participate.
The desire to please sometimes leads to both inner and outer conflict. An effort to “keep the peace” actually disrupts the peace when feelings and needs remain unspoken.
To meet your own needs, it is important to take the time to identify them. Do you need self-care, appreciation, understanding, clarity, order, rest, or fun? If these needs stay met, you may feel calm, content, motivated, openhearted, or invigorated. When the needs linger unmet, it may lead to feelings of burnout, detachment, insecurity, frustration, or resentment.
What does meeting needs look like for you? The ways we choose to meet specific needs may change from time to time. While one day you may find fun in hiking or biking, another day you may feel more joy in watching the birds or playing a game. Self-care may be a nap, pedicure, meditation, reading, painting, or something entirely unique to you depending on the day.
What does a sense of order look like to you? Is it a sparkling kitchen counter or all bills paid, both, or something else?
At the root of conflict lies a feeling of unmet needs. Being clear about your needs and the way you wish to meet them increases your inner sense of peace.
When you have an inner sense of peace, you will often exude a greater sense of outer peace.
How comfortable are you speaking your truth?
Conflict coaching or peace coaching helps you clarify your needs and create healthy boundaries.
What steps will you take to ensure your own inner peace?
