Do have ever experience a moment, and give it a whole lot more meaning than it calls for? For me, the phrase “making mountains out of molehills” comes to mind. When someone says or does something, or does not say or do something, I may experience the moment as just a simple little molehill. Another time, my brain’s thinking makes that molehill moment into a big ‘ol mountain.
Weeks ago, I started to tell my Mom about a project that excited me. She interrupted to ask if I had gotten her mail, and then we did not return to my story. I felt frustrated. Why did I feel frustrated? I thought she should not have interrupted me or could have at least asked me to finish my story, and since that did not happen, I started thinking she did not value me. Did you catch all the “should” and “could”ing in my thoughts? In the next breath, I started telling myself I “should not” think and feel that way. I also chose not to finish telling my story. Yes, my thinking made that moment mean that my mother did not care. Thinking she did not care, I chose not to share, which could only lead to further disconnection. I really wanted support in that moment. Because I did not receive support in the way I wished, did it really mean Mom does not care? No. The interruption equaled a molehilll. I made that mountain in my mind with my own thoughts.
Do you ever notice your own thoughts? It helps to pause, breathe, consider your needs, and ask a few questions: How could I be clearer with myself and the other person? Could more compassion for myself or someone else change the situation? What if I showed more curiosity?
Are you building any mountains where a molehill belongs? What meaning do your thoughts create? How does that meaning impact your relationships?