Maintaining Personal Peace in Times of Conflict

Sounds of birds chirping and frogs croaking float through the woods. Breathing the fresh air rolling from the layer of ice still covering the lake, the smile in my heart spreads to my eyes and lips.  

I love this moment. After a few minutes I hear a man’s voice in the distance and my thoughts turn elsewhere. The birds and frogs continue. However, I let the sounds of talking in the distance interrupt my experience.   

After breathing in the sunset one more time, I find my way back to the car. The moment passes.  

What takes you away from the moment? Whether fully enjoying a quiet moment or productively engaged, things sometimes arise that invite delay or distraction.

We get to choose whether to accept the invitation. What level of attention do you give to anything or anyone that interrupts you?

We also get to decide the level of impact another person or situation has on us. What do you let influence your behavior?

During mediations, I notice the participants, whether the parties themselves or their attorneys, occasionally change their demeanor based on what they hear, or think they hear.

Heck, we all do that from time to time, right?

Especially in times of conflict or disagreement, it may be easy to the default reactions of fight, flight, or freeze kick in. The hairs may raise even though no threat to safety actually exists. Confusing discomfort with safety sometimes happens. We may forget who we are and our purpose in the moment.

We have the personal power to experience peace in any given moment. Deciding in advance how to present ourselves, and the way to respond in more challenging times and conversations, takes back our personal power.

What if you choose in advance who you wish to be? You may still walk away from a beautiful sunset from time to time. Or even cringe at how you respond. As you pay more attention to how you show up, you will start showing up more in alignment with who you wish to be. I am working on this too.

We get to decide if we will behave the same or act differently next time. No blame or shame, just a nugget of awareness and adjusting accordingly. 

What steps will you take to maintain personal peace in times of conflict? Will you keep on chirping regardless of distractions?

Sherry Ann Bruckner

Sherry Ann Bruckner

Most widely known as Lonzo's human, mediator, speaker, and author Sherry Ann Bruckner works with leaders and organizations to create peace, resolve conflict, and transform visions into results.

From her twenty-plus years' experience practicing civil and family law, and her own personal experiences with silence and violence, Sherry Ann understands how much inner peace impacts outer peace. A graduate of Hamline University's College of Liberal Arts and William Mitchell College of Law, she also studied conflict resolution at Rothberg International School in Jerusalem. Sherry serves as a neutral on matters ranging from bias and employment discrimination to marriage dissolution and caring for aging parents. A speaker and trainer on the global stage, Sherry gives you and your audience practical skills and the confidence to use embrace your personal power to create peace. Through helping thousands of people navigate their way through conflict, and finding her own way to inner peace, she shares the transformational power of clarity, compassion, curiosity, and cribbage.

Visit to learn more or give her a call at (320) 808-3212.
Sherry Ann Bruckner

Be gentle with you. Be gentle with all. Be the peace.