Listening for Needs in Conflict Resolution

How often do your pay attention to your own needs? Are you listening for other people’s needs? As an introvert by nature and a lover of my quiet time for reading, I thought I might get into tip-top shape health-wise and envisioned eating healthy meals, exercising daily, drinking lots of water, and enjoying ample sleep during this COVID time. Some days, I do just that. Other days, I feel like the little child who resists taking a nap and eating the vegetables. I know what my body needs, yet I do not always listen to it. In the past, my body has shut down leaving me bedridden with the flu or experienced pain with another health issue forcing me to change the way I took care of myself.  

I do not always pay attention and listen to my own needs even though I know the importance of knowing someone’s needs in conflict resolution. Listening for the underlying need helps get to the crux of the issue and facilitate a constructive conversation.

How often do you think, “I wonder what I need” or “what does this person need?” Listening for needs, whether at home, in the workplace and out in the community, makes a huge difference. Most everyone desires belonging, connection, clarity, meaning, peace, physical well-being, personal safety, and play in some form or another. Identifying the actual need, before debating the ways to meet the need, plays an important role in conflict resolution. When people delve into the underlying need, it allows for a more open dialogue offering space to create ideas for resolution.  

How often do you pay attention to your own needs? Are you willing to listen for the underlying need when someone shuts down, screams out, or makes a request for something?  

Listening for needs plays an important step the path to resolving conflict and creating peace. Check out the free Naming Needs resource for help:

Sherry Ann Bruckner

Sherry Ann Bruckner

Most widely known as Lonzo's human, mediator, speaker, and author Sherry Ann Bruckner works with leaders and organizations to create peace, resolve conflict, and transform visions into results.

From her twenty-plus years' experience practicing civil and family law, and her own personal experiences with silence and violence, Sherry Ann understands how much inner peace impacts outer peace. A graduate of Hamline University's College of Liberal Arts and William Mitchell College of Law, she also studied conflict resolution at Rothberg International School in Jerusalem. Sherry serves as a neutral on matters ranging from bias and employment discrimination to marriage dissolution and caring for aging parents. A speaker and trainer on the global stage, Sherry gives you and your audience practical skills and the confidence to use embrace your personal power to create peace. Through helping thousands of people navigate their way through conflict, and finding her own way to inner peace, she shares the transformational power of clarity, compassion, curiosity, and cribbage.

Visit to learn more or give her a call at (320) 808-3212.
Sherry Ann Bruckner

Be gentle with you. Be gentle with all. Be the peace.