How Do You Ask?

How comfortable are you asking for help? Are you clear in your requests or do you hint around?

Recently I helped a friend move. She proved the most organized person I ever helped. Upon my arrival, she looks at her notes of what needs to be done, shows me the room full of boxes, and directs me to where the carry the boxes. She had already packed and labeled the boxes. Three other people moved her furniture. She had a clear plan of where she wanted the items. She knew what she needed and made clear requests. 

Other times, people seem hesitant to ask or unclear about the expectations. How I or what I ask makes a difference. 

If I say, “any chance you’re heading to the south end of town?” Without any mention of my car or needing to pick it up, someone may simply respond “no” without further conversation. The choice to be vague does not get me where I need to go. 

If I really want someone to give me a ride to the car repair shop, it helps to simply say “My vehicle is at the shop on the south end of town and ready to be picked up, would you be willing to give me a ride please?”   

Realistically, if I ask someone if they are driving to the south end of town, they may ask “why?”  However, if they don’t, I have to use more time and energy explaining the situation or finding another way. Being clear in my request helps me know if this person will help, and if not, I may simply find another solution.  

Quality questions tend to get more quality responses.   

Whatever you wish for, it helps to be clear. If you want help, ask for it, and be specific about what help you want and what it looks like to you. To learn more tools about being clear in your requests, sign up for the Connective Communication classes

Sherry Bruckner

Sherry Bruckner

A civil and family mediator, transformational coach, speaker, and trainer, Sherry Ann Bruckner lives in Alexandria, Minnesota. Visit brucknermediation.com/services to learn more or call Sherry at (320) 808-3212 for help transforming conflict and creating peace in your home, organization, or community.
Sherry Ann Bruckner

As always, be gentle with you. Be gentle with all. Be the peace.