Hiding the Hurt?

As a little girl, I liked to run with the boys, namely my three older brothers. I liked it when they called me strong for not crying. It usually involved scrapes and bruising from some incident in the woods on our homeplace. Did that mean it did not hurt? No, I just hid the hurt.  

In my practice, I meet many people who hide the hurt and pain in their relationships. Rarely does a person say to a spouse or co-parent, “I hurt.”  Folks usually say, “you never,” “you are always,” “you did not…” or “you need to…” instead of “I feel afraid,” “I feel insecure,” or “I feel frustrated.” It does not always feel comfortable to share honest feelings. Having authentic conversations takes courage and confidence. When done so with compassion for one’s self as well as the other person, it opens the lines of communication to address issues and helps people respectfully move forward, whether together or separately.  

Are you hiding your hurt? Hiding it may seem like a safe fix. However, it may be helpful to consider the relationship future. Is the long-term goal connection or disconnection? Refusal to acknowledge the truth may lead to further issues later. Sharing feelings honestly usually brings people one step closer to conflict resolution.  

Sherry Ann Bruckner

Sherry Ann Bruckner

Most widely known as Lonzo's human, mediator, speaker, and author Sherry Ann Bruckner works with leaders and organizations to create peace, resolve conflict, and transform visions into results.

From her twenty-plus years' experience practicing civil and family law, and her own personal experiences with silence and violence, Sherry Ann understands how much inner peace impacts outer peace. A graduate of Hamline University's College of Liberal Arts and William Mitchell College of Law, she also studied conflict resolution at Rothberg International School in Jerusalem. Sherry serves as a neutral on matters ranging from bias and employment discrimination to marriage dissolution and caring for aging parents. A speaker and trainer on the global stage, Sherry gives you and your audience practical skills and the confidence to use embrace your personal power to create peace. Through helping thousands of people navigate their way through conflict, and finding her own way to inner peace, she shares the transformational power of clarity, compassion, curiosity, and cribbage.

Visit brucknermediation.com/services to learn more or give her a call at (320) 808-3212.
Sherry Ann Bruckner

Be gentle with you. Be gentle with all. Be the peace.