What does love mean to you? What feels loving to the people around you?
As we begin this Valentine’s month, I reflect on various ways people express love.
Just the other day, a woman tells me, she feels her choices are to shut down and withdraw or yell and scream when feeling frustrated with her husband.
She is not alone.
I see people silently begging for love yet avoiding conversations.
I also see people abrasively begging for love through harsh attacks.
Desperate over the lost connection, their actions cause greater harmer and separation.
Human behavior often proves counterintuitive. Does it make sense to “love” someone so much that you cause them physical and emotional injury?
Is the goal to create love or instill fear?
In mediation, I help people talk about their needs to help them find some resolution. Doing so means providing a safe space to discuss what each person needs, and what that looks like.
Sometimes love means sharing time and space, and other times it means sending good vibes from afar as the loved one lives their best life separately.
While I enjoy helping people at any point along their path, there is something about the couples who come to me before they start the divorce process. Whether they end up staying together or proceeding with the divorce, they hold respect for each other.
They really wish for each other to live a fully happy and satisfying life.
That looks like love to me.
What does love look like to you?