What’s your go to when you feel angry or frustrated? Do you shut down and avoid the conversation? Or do you want to deck someone or something?
During transformational coaching, I am not always fully sure what topics a client will want to discuss. It varies from transforming their life to addressing communication and conflict at home, work, or somewhere else.
Recently, a business owner brought up an issue in their personal life. The person told me they would “deck the guy” if he behaved a certain way. While I encourage people to explore all communication options, I also invite consideration of the consequences of those choices.
This person believed it important to make a clear statement on the subject. So often I hear people say you can either be clear or compassionate. You can have both at the same time. It takes commitment and practice.
Clarity does not have to lack compassion. In fact, information is usually better received when accompanied with a bit of curiosity and understanding. (I know many teachers who have mastered this skill.)
You can send a clear message, hold someone accountable and maintain self-control and self-respect. It takes personal strength to keep your anger in check and approach situations with clarity, compassion, and curiosity.
If you need help approaching those challenging conversations, consider coaching or training.
Remember, clarity and compassion may co-exist. Leave the decking to the halls this holiday season.