Curiosity Changes Conflict

Have you ever thought, “she does not know what she is talking about” or “he could not be more irrational?”  

When the focus goes to who is right and who is wrong, real needs tend to be overlooked. What if two people need the same thing? The very basic need may be safety, security, stability, or something else. What if folks disagree about how to meet the need? What gives me a sense of security may be very different than what gives you a sense of security. Does that make one of us right and one of us wrong? What if a resolution exists that allows us to both meet our basic needs?  

In any moment, folks may choose to argue about rightness and wrongness, or choose curiosity. Curiosity asks a question with the intent to learn. Simply start with “I wonder…”  I wonder what I really need. I wonder what this other person needs. How could we meet both needs?  

Staying in rightness and wrongness rarely feels good, typically separates people, and often exacerbates the conflict. Consider showing up with curiosity. Curiosity may lead to conflict resolution.  

Sherry Ann Bruckner

Sherry Ann Bruckner

Sherry Ann Bruckner, JD, enjoys helping you bridge the gap from where you are to where you wish to be. An attorney, mediator, coach, speaker, and trainer, she strongly believes in the transformational power of clarity, compassion, curiosity, and cribbage.

Sherry Ann invites and encourages you to consider your own level of peace. Inner peace creates outer peace and personal peace leads to world peace. You may find her enjoying a game or hiking a state park. Sherry Ann lives near Alexandria, Minnesota. Visit to learn more or give her a call at (320) 808-3212.
Sherry Ann Bruckner

Be gentle with you. Be gentle with all. Be the peace.