What stops us from asking for help? For me, it may be a combination of pride, stubbornness, and foolishness. When I ask for help, it means letting folks know that I am not superwoman and am not perfectly capable of all tasks all by myself. On the other hand, asking for help allows more time and energy for rest and joy and reduces intrapersonal and interpersonal conflict.
Why does one household have children who prepare family meals and engage in household cleaning, and another household have most every chore performed by the same one adult? In one household, there is an ask. It is clear with the ask that the request helps the adult and the household meet a need.
It sometimes may seem easier to just do things ourselves. Doing so teaches the people around us that we do not want or need help, and it deprives people of the opportunity to give help and be a full part of the team or household. When colleagues, friends, family members, or neighbors offer help and it is refused, they may also believe you do not want it or need it, and may refrain from asking again. You may not want it or need it. However, if you do and accept, you are letting someone else be a part of the solution. Relationships are built in sharing tasks. Resentment often builds in going it alone.
Conflict coaching gives you the tools to comfortably make the ask and converse more constructively with clarity, confidence, and compassion.
