Ever feel someone simply does not care or value your relationship? What do you say?
People call me who feel frustrated, hurt, and disappointed with friends, family members, or a working relationship. When I ask what they have shared with the other person so far, the response is often, “nothing.”
I get that sometimes it seems easier to not deal with a situation. Keeping silent keeps people feeling safe. Yet, saying nothing may also be communicating the same message of, “I do not care about you either,” or “I do not value this relationship.” It creates further disconnection. Unwillingness to feel uncomfortable in the short-term creates further discomfort.
Usually when someone treats you with disrespect or inconsideration, it comes from a place of pain. While you may not be in a place to offer compassion or empathy, you may express your hurt, frustration, or disappointment to let the person know how their words and actions impact you.
How you share makes all the difference. Being clear about thoughts, feelings, and needs helps focus the conversation. Are you sharing from a place of care? Or a place of anger?
Why does this person’s words impact you? It may signify that you care and value the relationship. Leaning into discomfort and honestly sharing your experience allows you to let go. After speaking your truth, you do not have to carry around the angst and fear of the unknown.
Are you willing to feel a little uncomfortable for the sake of long-term comfort? If you need help approaching a delicate conversation or sharing your truth at home, work, or in the community, schedule a class, coaching, or mediation.
Tired of being consumed with angst over a relationship? Giving yourself the support now to address disagreements or misunderstandings allows you to spend your time and energy on what you love.