An adaptation to the Serenity Prayer reads:
“Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know the one is me.” Author unknown.
How true is that? A wave of relief comes from realizing it is true that I can only change me. I sigh remembering all the times I thought I could change someone else.
Yes, I am a recovering “fixer” by nature. One might credit my old fix-it approach to two decades of practicing law. Yet, I know my role as a childhood mediator and self-appointed problem solver launched the young “fixer” in me.
Being a problem solver serves a purpose. The difference lies in opening space for understanding and providing an opportunity for change versus announcing “the fix” and expecting compliance without dialogue.
Relief lies in knowing you may always choose how you show up, listen, respond, and behave. This means you are responsible for you and control only you. I am responsible for me and only control me.
Taking responsibility for you does not mean going down the path of self-judging. Judging disconnects you from you and those around you.
Noticing your behavior helps you reconnect. You may ask some questions:
1. Who do I wish to be?
2. Am I showing up as that person?
3. What result am I seeking?
4. What actions truly align with the results I seek?
5. How well do those actions reflect who I wish to be?
Considering these questions allows you the chance to pause. This creates a space to really place some thought and intention into who you are, who you wish to be, and how you show up.
Working through an issue with a colleague or addressing issues with a family member or former spouse offers a similar opportunity. I approach coaching and mediation by walking clients through the process asks evocative questions. The solution, resolution, or transformation of any conflict or situation lies within you. Sometimes you just need help accessing the answers. Questions invite dialogue about your needs, wishes, options, and what living fully as into them looks like.
Imagine feeling full satisfaction with life ~ all things working out exactly as you wish. Wishes fulfilled, you show up with a certain ease and confidence. This ease and confidence leads to you receiving more of what satisfies you.
What if you bring a level of ease and confidence to your day? Will you feel better about yourself? You may see more of your wishes granted.