Beneath the Frustration

With fifty-five parts scattered about, a screwdriver in hand, and a set of directions, I recently sought to put a piece of furniture together. Not fully understanding how part E connected to part K, I felt my chest tighten and grew a bit anxious.

Years ago, I would have grown more anxious and frustrated and put myself down. This time, I paid attention to my feelings. The feelings of anxiousness and frustration told me I needed something. What did I need? I needed support, clarity, and competence and accordingly texted a group of friends. A friend thankfully arrived minutes later, and the furniture took its intended form very quickly.

How often do you pay attention to your feelings? Are you aware of your own needs? Beneath every feeling lies a need, and the nature of the feeling tells us whether a need is met or unmet. When you feel loving, relaxed, confident, or thankful, what needs are being met? When you think about your frustration, fear, or discontent, what word(s) resonate mostly as the underlying unmet need(s)? Do you need safety, rest, freedom, self-expression, acceptance, support, balance, hope, clarity, competence, or something else?

Identifying our own needs allows us to engage in self-empathy. Self-empathy helps us show up more confidently and compassionately, and be more present in times of conflict.

Sherry Ann Bruckner

Sherry Ann Bruckner

From her twenty-plus years' experience practicing civil and family law, and her own personal experiences with silence and violence, Sherry Ann Bruckner understands how much inner peace impacts outer peace. A graduate of Hamline University's College of Liberal Arts and William Mitchell College of Law, she also studied conflict resolution at Rothberg International School in Jerusalem. Sherry serves as a neutral on matters ranging from bias and employment discrimination to marriage dissolution and caring for aging parents. A speaker and trainer on the global stage, Sherry gives you and your audience practical skills and the confidence to use them. An engaging and authentic speaker, she believes you hold the personal power to create peace. Through helping thousands of people navigate their way through conflict, and finding her own way to inner peace, she shares the transformational power of clarity, compassion, curiosity, and cribbage.

A small-town mediator with a big heart and global mission, Sherry works with leaders and organizations to create peace, resolve conflict, and transform visions into results.

Visit to learn more or give her a call at (320) 808-3212.
Sherry Ann Bruckner

Be gentle with you. Be gentle with all. Be the peace.